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| So, there's this guy I used to date in high school for about ten months. I would say he was my first "love" -- not puppy-love, but the romantic, magical, planning-my-bright-looking-future, whirlwindish kind of love that you will always remember. It never blossomed beyond that (obviously), for a few reasons, and I take most of the blame for us breaking up... but this person was (is) never too far from my mind, as I truly feel he emblazoned the mold for The One in my mind. Anyway, fast-forward 13 years later. We are both happily married and living new lives. After not talking, writing, knowing one another for all these years, we have become facebook friends after a message I initiated (but never received a response for). Since then, I have written on his facebook wall a couple of times, and also wished him Happy Birthday and Happy Hanukkah. He has never commented back. My question is this: Do you think this silent-treatment is a type of "payback" for my childish antics at the time of our breakup, perhaps insinuating that I'm allowed to see that he, too, is a happy adult, but I'm not welcome in his new circle? -OR- Do you think this refusal to acknowledge me is to avoid making his wife uncomfortable, since we did have a more-serious-than-most high school relationship many years ago? I really need opinions. It's bothering me more than it should, and if I can just wrap my mind around a reason, I can let it go. Help! :) | | |
| Christmas approacheth!! In continuance of my last blog, I have started to notice little hairs of Christmassy Spirit in places... The continuous holiday music played on Y102.5, the Christmas Cookie-Exchange with my team-members today, the bitter cold-snap my state is currently experiencing... It's helping! There is so much more I want to write about, but there are some other things I need to do this evening, so I'll have to elaborate later. Here's one thing, though: I heard the Burl Ives version "Holly Jolly Christmas", and it reminded me of Jaycakes. I know it's his absolute favorite holiday song, and with every word I blared in the privacy of my Jeep on the way home from work, I was extending telepathic well-wishes to him... Just a couple of days left to go -- I hope everyone is excited! :) | | |
| It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas... Or IS it??? During my lifetime, I've heard people say it often. "It doesn't feel like Christmas at all." I was never one of those people until this year. Suddenly, I find myself trapped in a vacuum of tedium, oblivious to the holiday spirit. I really WANT to feel all Christmassy and cheery, but I can only seem to muster up the regular, day-to-day kind of cheer. I think the weather has a lot to do with it. It was 65 degrees here yesterday, and while the light wind did leave the air feeling somewhat brisk, it felt like an early spring day rather than the third week in December. What I wouldn't give for a light dusting of snow or a single, dangling icicle to grow downwards from my roof. Maybe even some grey skies and the need to wear a coat. Perhaps it's the fact that I finally did what thousands of people swear each year they are going to do: I started my shopping in July. Sure, it saved a me the bumper-to-bumper traffic in the city, and I was spared of the yearly tradition of being randomly stepped on and nonchalantly elbowed by autonomous holiday shoppers. But maybe those missing elements, as unpleasant as writing about them may seem, are part of what makes a holiday happen for me. Maybe by managing to snip those parts out of the season I have trimmed off some of the most natural branches of the Christmas Tree in my heart. Here's hoping the joy of the season captures me in the next couple of days... Because I want to enjoy all of the magic this time of year has always produced, and if Christmas passes by without it, I'll think the year was fruitless. | | |
| Most people have heard the terrible news by now: the skeletal remains of a young child found so close to her grandparents' home have been proven to be those of little Caylee Marie Anthony. In a bizarre case that seems to have attracted more media attention than the 2008 Presidential Election, this discovery is just another awful step in a tower of horrifying parental neglect.
I am the mother of a small child myself. There have been times when I've wanted to scream, pull my hair out, check into an institurion, cry like a mad-woman, bang my head on a wall, and many other emotional acts... But never -- NEVER -- has the thought of hurting my child crossed my mind. I know Casey Anthony hasn't been proven guilty of anything other than theft, forgery, lying to police, and child neglect, and I don't know if hers was the cruel hand that ended this beautiful little girl's life. But even if Casey Anthony isn't the murderer, her selfish lifestyle and pathological lies make her an accessory to murder in my book, and I hope she rots in prison for not protecting the baby she gave birth to.
Even though most people lost all hope of finding Caylee alive months ago, part of me truly prayed that she would be found happy and well with someone who kidnapped her in an attempt to "rescue" her. Even when the tiny bones were found, I tried to believe against all odds that this beautiful little baby was not the one wrapped in that trash bag and disposed of like household garbage. (Not that ANY child is deserving of such disrespect, of course, but it's hard not to become attached to a precious face seen on the television every day.) But that hope has ended.
My only hope now is that the heartless murderer -- whether it's her mother, another family member or friend, or whomever else -- is brought to justice. I want that person to pay for the rest of their natural life, and even after that, for killing an innocent little girl who deserved SO much more out of life. She might have had a first kiss, a first love, a first dance with a boy at a high school Prom... She might have gone to college... She might have become a doctor, a politician, a brilliant scientist, a writer, a painter, a talented actress... She might have gushed to her friends about a sparkling engagement ring, or worn a beautiful wedding gown on her Big Day. She might have had beautiful children of her own, and maybe even held her grandchildren one day. But little Caylee will never have these opportunities, because someone took it upon themselves to steal her life before she got to live it.
I don't know why I felt compelled to write this. I've just been so disturbed by the whole case -- and now that we know this precious baby was indeed murdered, I feel I owe it to her to voice my disgust toward her killer and my prayers for justice to be served.
~*~*~*~ God Bless You, little Caylee Marie. <3
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| All the planning, bridal conversations, dress-fittings, invitations, decor purchases & preparations -- down the tubes. Paul & I canceled our large wedding that was scheduled for 11/1/08. It's not what you think! We didn't break up. Much to the contrary, actually: he and I were married on 10/3/08 at in the Grand Courtroom of Charleston's Historic Courthouse, in the presence of my parents, my son, and his mother. Regretfully, his father and grandmother were unable to attend. :( So why did we toss our dream wedding out the window? Two main reasons, named below: MEDICAL BILLS: In a prior post -- quite possibly the most recent -- I mentioned Paul's horrific jaw-breaking accident. Well, he happened to be an uninsured member of the working class, so the indescribable medical bills we have received were reason enough to put a halt to our expensive four hour Fairy-Tale. ECONOMY: If you are literate or have any one piece of technology in your life -- cellphone, television, computer (which you obviously do, since you're reading this) -- then you know the current financial predicament of our time. The glamor and glitter that had become Our Wedding was a monster in and of itself. Thousands of precious dollars being scheduled to go to florist, baker, designer, etc., when it could most definitely be used better elsewhere. We decided that we were mature, responsible adults who already have a child to care for (mine, that is), and that we couldn't afford the luxury of being frivolous. So we married inexpensively. And you know what? We are just as married as we would have been, just not nearly as deep in debt. So, that's the latest news on my end. I am currently battling a terrible case of bronchitis and a respiratory infection, and the persistent painful hacking is what's got me awake so late at night. For now, I will close, but there are several deep topics I will be exploring in the coming weeks. Please stay tuned. <3 T | | |
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